today i was reading an old diary of mine for like an hour

i wrote in it from the time i was ten until my freshman year of high school

so amazing and so bizarre and i wanted to write back to my younger self

i want to have a day that’s actually productive

i’m going to clean my room in an attempt to find my phone and then maybe go on the treadmill and then read jekyll and hyde for english and then hang out with my boy

trying to keep my days busy and happy

remember how i said i got my prom dress today

well i took pictures of all of the dresses i tried on and my sister tried on some random dress and took a picture with me and she wanted me to upload that picture to facebook

so i did and in the picture i’m in the dress that i almost got, the lace vintage looking one

and everyone commented that i look great in it and i’m trying not to feel regret and that’s the one my boyfriend liked too

i’m so stupid for worrying about something so silly

so i got my prom dress today :)

it’s not vintage like i wanted, i’m going to do that for senior prom i decided

the dress i got is long and flowy and a pale purple, and is sort of grecian styled and i’m going to curl my hair but have some sort of braid in it too and it’s going to be a very greek goddess look and i love it 

wearing pretty dresses feels really nice

okay done continue scrolling

there’s something about this time of year where I get even more restless. where I feel even more of a desire to do something fun and out of the ordinary

This is the time of year that isn’t the holidays or summer so I’m just so determined to make my own fun

maybe I just have spring fever

i’m making a very emotional, personal rant thing. 

i’m really glad that it’s the weekend so that i can disassociate from everyone from my school for awhile.

it’s not even so much that i don’t feel like i fit in at my school because at times i do but i just feel like my brain is wired so differently than everybody else’s

like today in my history class we were watching horrifying footage of the liberation of holocaust victims and while everyone was trying not to throw up i was trying not to cry and idk i’m just more serious than most people my age though i try not to be

maybe i’m being stupid thinking i’m so different and special not that i think i’m special but i just feel like no one really relates to me and it’s a very isolating feeling

if, when i have children, some of them are boys i will raise them to be perfect gentlemen because God knows the world needs that 

i was going to rant once i got home from school on here about what a bad day i had and how people annoyed me and how i was 1 point away from straight A’s this marking period

but i’m not going to. i’m going to be happy about the grades i got because they’re actually really good and i’m going to relax, work out, shower, study a bit, go on tumblr. i need to start doing healthier things. and it’s such a nice day out so i’m going to try to be happy :) 

i said and did so many stupid things today i hate myself and i have a cold and i feel like shit i’m going in to school late tomorrow maybe that’ll make me feel a tiny bit better just maybe 

just wallowing in self pity

i have an issue

i’m really nice about some things and really bitchy about others

but i’m really nice towards creepers and clingy people lol idk why

i just can’t come forward and tell them to back off

i feel bad for them because they’re usually lonely or something

i want a night like katy perry’s “last friday night” just once in my life.

i happened to look at my phone right at 11:11

i’m so corny but it really did amaze me, and i made about a dozen wishes

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is it bad that i like rufus wainwright’s cover of “across the universe” than the beatles?

i love both, but rufus’s is pretty amazing..

and of course i’m in love with jim sturgess<3 and his cover of it…

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